03. When Pretending Becomes Purposeless: Reflections on Love and Sense of Self in 'Scenes From A Marriage' and 'Portrait'

A love letter to 'Scenes From A Marriage' (2021) from Ishq Pradhan

Dear Scenes from a Marriage (old and new), mon amour,

I don’t quite know if I love you or hate you for this, but watching you makes me wonder if I’m being seen…if every hesitation, doubt, or thought I am so proud to withhold actually isn’t mine at all…but rather everyone’s to know and feign ignorance about.

Everything about you…especially the home you gave Mira and Jonathan, and Marianne and Johan, feels perfectly curated, just as their marriages became. The first I saw of you was amid Mira and Jonathan’s interview for a social study, in their own living room.

You made them answer the question; What four words would you use to define yourself? Mira threw in the word “wife,” alongside phrases to describe her high-achieving tech career…while Jonathan threw in “Jewish,” alongside his academic career. Mira smiled in response, simply to pretend that she wasn’t in fact, disappointed by Jonathan not using the word “husband,” but instead choosing “Jewish” to define himself. Something he found to be a revelation as well.

Mira’s smiles are what I remember most. They seemed to grow, almost in defense. I began to wonder - In the same way that I can see her dissatisfaction, hint of anger, and even attempt to believe that all is okay, can other’s see past my pretense?

Do we all just pretend not to know of another’s pretense? And at what point does pretending become purposeless?

Watching Mira and Jonathan discuss her surprise pregnancy and pretend that they are both okay going along with the other’s decision to keep the baby or not made me wonder if pretending is only possible till the moment we realize…it’s only for the sake of pretending.

As I sat with this thought, Liam, Nadia, and Mia, my characters in Portrait, came to life. 

They stem from vastly different experiences: Liam having seen the brutalities of war firsthand through the lens of his camera, Nadia having convinced herself that being a Columbia-educated journalist means truly seeing things, and Mia, Liam’s wife, believing that her marriage is fully functional, despite Liam’s emotional absence. 

And yet, they are the same. They’re all pretending, clinging onto these “truths” like an identity. 

Set in a perfectly curated New York living room, Portrait puts the crumbling of these truths on camera, showing viewers what happens when we realize we’re all just pretending…until we realize it’s only for the sake of pretending. 

Perhaps that is the only truth. Because in the midst of humanity’s glory, messiness, and beauty, we only stop pretending till we must start again…and something will make us start again.

Thank you Scenes From A Marriage for making me embrace it rather than fear it.

I have to admit, I adore that living room,

Love,

Ishq

About Ishq

Ishq Pradhan is the Founder & CEO of Amour Films. She became drawn to the medium of film following a rigorous study of Kathak, a North-Indian classical dance form, in which the dancer utilizes movement and facial expression as a means of storytelling. Her desire to tell stories in a manner that could be understood universally, across cultures, led her to study at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts and The Lee Strasberg Theatre and Film Institute, where she discovered a passion for exploring how romantic and familial relationships shape the creation of cultural, sexual, and artistic identity. Her work explores themes of complex relationships, coming-of-age, and dysfunctional family dynamics, often while blending in dance as a means of contributing to the narrative.

She has worked under and been mentored by acclaimed writer-directors Lara Shapiro and Vikramaditya Motwane, a pioneer in the modern Indian Independent film movement. Her short films have been screened and awarded globally. She wrote, directed, and starred in her most recent film, "Tadap," showcasing the heartbreaking reality of child marriage in India. It recently premiered at the Chicago South Asian Film Festival, and International South Asian Film Festival, and was a Semi-Finalist at the Academy-Award and BAFTA Qualifying Flickers Rhode Island Film Festival. As a writer, her work has been recognized by the LA Femme International Film Festival, Screencraft, and The BlackList.

Introducing Portrait

Portrait is a short film that examines how war impacts one's understanding of empathy. Currently in pre-production, Portrait is a collaboration between Amour Films and Mild Mannered & Timid, with filming scheduled to commence in March 2025.